Woman jokes

Man: Hi, do you want to dance?
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Woman: Yeah, sure!
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Man: Great, go and dance, I want to talk to your pretty friend!

 

Tags: woman, man, dance
17

 A detective asks a woman:"So, your husband hanged himself?"

Woman replies: "Yes, that is correct."
The suspicious detective continues:"But why does he have all those bruises on his head?"

"The old fool used an elastic rope!"

 

Tags: woman, die, detective
13

A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body.... and yet most men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

Tags: funny, woman, men
11

A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can’t you do the same?”

The husband: “Are you mad? I barely know the woman!”

Tags: funny, woman
26

woman caught her husband on the weight scale, sucking in his stomach.

“That won’t help you, Joe, you know?”

“Oh it helps a lot,” says the man, “it’s the only way I can see the numbers!”

 

Tags: woman, man
28

Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”

Patient: “OK.”

Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.”

 

Tags: patient, woman, Dentist
50

Why is women’s soccer so rare?

It’s quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.

Tags: woman, soccer
58

A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.

Tags: woman, naked woman, robbed, bank
26

A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can’t you do the same?”

The husband: “Are you mad? I barely know that woman!”

Tags: wife, husband, woman, kissing
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