Tomb raider jokes

Bryce: What's that smell?

Lara Croft: Five AM


Manfred Powell: Into the belly of the beast.

Alex West: And out of the demon's ass.


Lara Croft: Was it programmed to stop before it took my head off?

Bryce: Ah well... that would be a... no.


Terry Sheridan: Croft.

Lara Croft: Hello, Terry.

Terry Sheridan: So, what do you think of my new place? It's not quite Croft Manor.

[Lara pulls out a key]

Terry Sheridan: What? A key to your heart?

Lara Croft: To a flat in Zurich. You can pick another city, if you want. Your record will be expunged, your citizenship restored.

Terry Sheridan: By?

Lara Croft: MI6.

Terry Sheridan: MI6? Now, does that make me Faust or the Devil?

Lara Croft: Well, you can pick one, because MI6 is also arranging for a new identity.


Kosa: Do you ever do anything the easy way?

Lara Croft: And risk disappointing you?


Nicholas Petraki: Hey, Lara, what do you say to two handsome Greek partners?

Lara Croft: Well, when you find two, let me know!



Lara Croft: I'm not leaving you because I couldn't kill you. I'm leaving you because I could.



Hillary: Perhaps you gentlemen would like some tea while you wait?

Lara Croft: No, they wouldn't. Tea is for guests. The door is for intruders.


Lu Ren: Some men like dangerous women.

Lara Croft: Some men are foolish.