Patient asks his doctor: “Can I take a bath with diarrhea?”
Doctor: “Yes, if you are able to fill it up.
Doctor says to his patient: "You have cancer and Alzheimer."
Patient: "At least I don't have cancer."
Doctor: Your test results are showing you'll easily live to be 80.
Patient: But, wait, I am 80 just now.
Doctor: See, I told you to live healthier!
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.”
Patient: Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in my eye.
Doctor: I suggest you remove the spoon before drinking.
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"