Patient jokes

Patient asks his doctor: “Can I take a bath with diarrhea?”
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Doctor: “Yes, if you are able to fill it up.

Doctor says to his patient: "You have cancer and Alzheimer."
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Patient: "At least I don't have cancer."

Doctor: Your test results are showing you'll easily live to be 80.

Patient: But, wait, I am 80 just now.

Doctor: See, I told you to live healthier!

Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”

Patient: “OK.”

Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.”

Patient: Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in my eye.

Doctor: I suggest you remove the spoon before drinking.

Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

Doctor: "Nine."