Man jokes

Man: Hi, do you want to dance?
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Woman: Yeah, sure!
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Man: Great, go and dance, I want to talk to your pretty friend!

Secretary: “Doctor the invisible man has come. He says he has an appointment.”

Doctor: “Tell him I can"t see him.”

Two men are playing golf. One of them is about to take a swing when a funeral procession appears on the road next to the course. He stops mid-swing, takes off his cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in contemplation.

His opponent comments: "That must be the most touching thing I’ve ever seen. You are a very feeling man." The man, recovering himself, replies, "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."

woman caught her husband on the weight scale, sucking in his stomach.

“That won’t help you, Joe, you know?”

“Oh it helps a lot,” says the man, “it’s the only way I can see the numbers!”

Wife arrives home late at night from a business trip and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. But she notices four legs instead of two peeking from under the blanket!

Seized by a fit of rage, she reaches for the baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket until the screaming stops.

Still in shock, she lurches to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.

"Oh welcome home darling," he says, "my parents came for a visit, so I let them have our bedroom. I hope you said hello."