Funny jokes

 Why don‘t cannibals eat divorced women?

Because they’re bitter

Tags: funny, women
22

Q. What’s the worst thing about being lonely?

A. Playing Frisbee.

Tags: funny, Frisbee
18

I’m certain there are female hormones in beer. When I drink too much, I talk nonsense and I cannot control my car.

Tags: funny, beer
3

My girlfriend says that I am snoopy. But OK, maybe she meant it differently when she wrote it in her diary.

Tags: funny, girlfriend
7

 Little Red Riding Hood walks all alone through the deep dark wood. Suddenly she hears rustling in a thick bush. Cautiously she moves the branches aside and finds herself facing the big bad wolf.

"Oh, Big Bad Wolf, why do you have such huge red eyes?"

-
"Go away! I'm crapping!"

Tags: funny, big bad wolf
86

A wife is like a hand grenade. Take off the ring and say good bye to your house.

Tags: funny, women
46

"I really don't know which kid I'm supposedly being unfair to, according to my wife, Thomas, Anton, or the fat, ugly one?"

Tags: funny, kid
79


What is dangerous?
-
Sneezing while having diarrhea!

Tags: funny, dangerous
47

Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: “I really don’t get how he can feed himself with that thing!”

Tags: funny, men, elephants
46

 

Three guys are stranded in a desert. By a stroke of luck, they find a magic genie lamp.

The genie grants each of them one wish.

The first guy wishes to be back home. Wish granted.

The second guy wishes the same. Wish granted.

The third guy says, "It feels very lonely here now, I wish my friends were with me…” Wish granted.

Tags: funny, wishes
80